I <3 Youtube

A man and his wife are having sex
when their 10 year old son walks in on them.
The son screams, ‘OH MY GOD!’ then runs out of the room.
The man laughs and says, ‘Give him a few minutes
to calm down, then I’ll go in and explain
what was going on.’

A few minutes later, he walks into his son’s
room to find him having sex with his
grandmother.
The man screams ‘OH MY GOD!’

’Yeah’ his sons says, ‘it’s not so funny when it’s your mother, is it?’

 

ALSO

What’s the difference bewteen a pile of babies and a Ferrari?

- I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

The stupid test – I stupid r me

The Stupid Test! Here Is A Fun And Real Challenge!

OK. Pay close attention. Here is a very simple little test comprised of four easy question to determine the level of your intellect. See if you have what it takes to be considered smart

Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting of time . and PLEASE no cheating!
On your mark, get set, GO!

1: You are competing in a race and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer: If you answered that you're now in first,
you're wrong!

You overtook the second runner and took his place, therefore you are now in second place.
For the next question try not to be so dim.

2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?

Answer: If you answered second to last, you are wrong once again.
Think about it...

How can you overtake the person who is last? If you're behind them, they can't be last.You would have been last.
It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points.

Anyway, here's another question to try. Don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember, your replies must be instantaneous.

3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000.
Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20.
Plus 1000. And plus 10.

What is the total?

Answer: 5000?

Wrong again!

The correct answer is 4100.

Try again with good calculator.

Today is clearly not your day, although you should manage to get the last question right...

4: Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ?

Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly... you'll find the answer below..

Answer: Chuchu?
WRONG!

It's obviously Marie!
Read the question properly.


You are clearly the weakest link.

 

Now challenge your friends!

RE: TEST

Dearest blog,

I figured it out

 

Yours sincerely,
Teagan. S.     esq

 

P.S. Why don’t you come on over, Valerie?

TEST

Dearest blog,

This is me, your author, testing ‘Windows Live Writer’. I must confess, I do not know a thing about it other than it requires my blog URL and the password and username of my blog.

I find it all rather confusing and am quite scared by it.

This is the reason for this very frantic, quite upper class letter addressed to yourself.

I do apologise profusely if I mess you up in anyway. That is not my intention whatsoever.

 

Yours sincerely
Teagan. S.      esq

Hit it up

Teh MOOsick post-eth ^^

This here be the posty-post where you post the awesomest music you've ever known. This is just me giving you a chance to show off your taste in music. Not selfish or anything... I'm not that kind of girl.

Grand final trophies, here we come

Woot!
My team is in the finals for section 1 girls tennis.
WHOOT!!

It makes me happy 'cause I was kinda scared to play the number 2 girl.
Ended up winning 6-1 :\

=D

Yayness.

Impossible is A Moderation of Tennis (:

Photos Thursday
An 'artistic' nightmare
A ficticious dream

The dog is sleeping
Sleeping in a world of fur
and bread. Yes, she sleeps.

They call for you in the dead of night
Clawing at your soul, but you do not stir
They persist, until you wake up, tight
'No sex tonight,' you tell your lover

Ghostie Wants a Kitten

Okay... so... if my back and myself had a conversation, this would be the result.

Teagan: Hello! ^-^lulz RUFF!
Teagan's back: I hate you
Teagan: (:P
Teagan's back: -.-''
Teagan: Hardy ha
Teagan's back: Welcome to a world of pain
Teagan: =
Teagan: Ow.
Teagan's back: (:



Things that I do not like:

Matching black
Odd shoes
When you're reading a magazine by lamp light and the light shines back onto your eyes and you can't read the wordz
Too small desks
When you're trying to get sticky tape off the role and you think you've found the end but it turns out to be a bubble. Then, when you do find the end, you're so ecstatically happy that you peel it too fast and it splits down the middle. Then when you find the end again you peel it too slow and it splits down the middle.
TVs that make that really annoying high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound.


Things that I do like:

My lappytop
My doggy
My cup that has a sheep on it
My fridge
My bed
My lamp
My Teddy
My Mel
My camera
My David Tennant

Oh! And when you get a Jinjo in Banjo Kazooie ^____^
those things are so cute.


Fresh pineapple must die.
But it's sooooooooo tasty.
I'm torn between to worlds.
A world of pain
and a world of pineapple

Hm.

Shoe Heaven

If there is such a thing, that is the location of my school shoes and my pretty, comfy, awesome as formal shoes.
THEY'RE BOTH GONE.
And I will swear on my tennis racquet that they are definitely not in my room.
I cleaned my room.
THEY'RE NOT HERE.
Seriously. I wasn't even mean to.. okay, that was a lie. I dislike my school shoes 'cause they're ugly and horrible, but my pretty shoes! I was nothing but an angel to them! I wore them like I was supposed to. So why have they run away??

)=

So sad.
'Never let go, Jack'
'Never'
*Lets go*

Fail.

I miss my shoes >.<

Hey now, Hey now.

Love for me is...
someone I would put above tennis.

There hasn't been anyone like that.
And.. I think... there never will be.

Oh well.
All the more for tennis, eh?

89 bottles of rum on the wall. 89 bottles of rum...

OH MY GOODNESS!!
You know what would be so totally awesome?!?!?!
If... me and or someone else... did that thing that Jack and Will did with the boat when they were taking over the Interceptor =D Like with the walking on the bottom of the Caribbean and not drowning [: epic.

What happened to Elliot's awesome as red leather chair to match his jeans?!
I don't like this new Rollercoaster. Not at all. Not one bit.
Except for Elliot's hair changed.
And it has Elliot in it
=D
You know, for ages. When they had the ads for Rollercoaster, I thought that when Elliot said 'Join me, Elliot Spencer...' I thought he meant that Elliot Spencer was another person. So I was waiting for ages for this other person to appear in ads, or on the show. Like a year later I realised that I was hearing it the wrong way.

Hah. My bad.

LOL@iLOVEyouFOREVERandEVER.LOVELOVELOVE

Oh please.

Is it just me or do you think that the words
'love'
and
'forever'
and
'never'
are quite over-used?

Because, seriously, give me a break.

You may think I'm cynical.
Towards people.
Towards love.
Towards life in general.
But honestly?
I am just so sick,
of people's flippant attitudes towards love and life.
Not to mention the English language.

You also may think that you cannot choose who to like and not like.
Or in many people's cases 'love'.
This, is not true. Not in the least.
You can choose who you like
and you can also choose who not to like.

You do make your own choices.
The universe is not predetermined.
There is no God,
there are no gods.
It's just you and everyone else.

Try to think of life
as a game.
Instead of playing it the oppositions way,
play it your way.
Encourage your team; your friends, family.
And smash the opposition; problems, heartbreak.


And yes, it really is just that simple. However much you think it isn't.

I want Jaffas

My room! 'Tis all very clean now =D
I'm happy.

But I need new furniture.
*Nod*
I think... you people should buy me furniture
*NodNod*
That would be nice.
Furniture and clothing.


How about... you just buy all my stuff.
I don't seem to be very good at that >.<

Please and thank you.

All I want is.... Tenninch

Fo' realz, homez

Sometimes I honestly don't understand people. If you don't want to talk to anyone... WHY ARE YOU ON MSN?!
Seriously!
We all know the reason you're on MSN is because there's someone on there that you want to talk to...

And why do people have to make you jump through hoops and decipher riddles just to get something out of you? That's no way to have an open friendship or relationship with someone.

Like, for example; if you like someone, TELL IT TO THEM STRAIGHT!
Dropping subtle hints, DOES NOT WORK.
Honest, boys don't understand hints and they're not very good at giving them either.
And what do you have to lose in the first place?
They don't like you? Isn't that the world of the world?
*Raises eyebrow*
So what? Big deal. GET OVER IT.
There are some things in this life that are not fair.
The upside of it is, you tell him you like him and low and behold he likes you back!
You took a leap of faith and it turned out good.

What I'm trying to say (I finally found a point) is it's better to have EVERYTHING out in the open than to keep it all secret. Talking through stuff is the best way to solve problems, find out what really makes people tick and to choose who your real friends are.

I like donuts.

There is currently...

...Quite a large pile of clothing resting on my bed at the moment. Preventing me from having a rest of my own.
This was all in an attempt to find where my shoes were hiding. Pretty mediocre attempt considering all I did was build a mountain out of items of clothing on my bed. Which I knew would obscure more than a third of my bed the very instant I started throwing stuff on there :\

Alas! There is more clothing in my wardrobe! 7 items. That I can see from where I'm currently sitting. On closer inspection there are actually 18 items + a scarf.

Then there is the clothes I'm wearing and the stuff that's in my draws and on the floor of my wardrobe.
Funny... Out of all the clothes I own I can never find a single thing to wear. Someone reeeally needs to shop for me. 'Cause all I buy is black, black, black. I think the word 'colour' is nowhere near my vocabulary when it comes to clothes shopping.

This is In Desperate Need of Some Clothing Counselling, signing off. Until next time *salutes*.

*Luffs*

Bored. If any of you have some really nice pictures, please send them to me

Pretty
xD

I think it's fabulous. Even if you don't

So this is now my new favourite saying ever.



True: There's a reason behind everything.
False: Everything happens for a reason.



I think this: #1. because it's true and #2. because I thought of it.


Uh huhhhhhhhhh (y)


^^^ Lulz

I'm appealing to your sense of self

Last night, I was laying in bed and thought 'OH! I KNOW WHAT A GOOD POST WOULD BE!' and yes, I yell in my thoughts too.

Comment in the comments a comment that comments on your blood type and the time that you were born. Oh and an odd fact about yourself.

I'm B+

I was born at 1:19pm

And I have webbed feet. Not totally webbed feet but.. two toes on each foot are kind of webbed. Just a little bit.

This will be fun... because you will ALL COMMENT.

It's sneaky, I know. But it seems to be the only way to get comments.




and...

!!!HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

"He's gonna whip my Heathen arse"

I am much too callous.
Much, much, much too callous....

To care about the bushfires.

Now that must sound INCREDIBLY self-absorbed and horrible and absolutely and completely inhuman.

I mean, sure, I care that almost 200 people died and thousands of people lost their homes and relatives and friends and pets but... it's just not from the heart.

I want to care, I really do. But if I were to care it would be with all my heart, everything I have, and I just don't think that my heart could take that kind of anguish.

I think it's because I've had so much more of my own trauma that I don't have anything left in me to care about other peoples lives. That I have to reserve it for myself if anything ever happens to me.

That must sound even MORE horrible. But that's just how it is.

I do care. Remind yourself of that. But it's only because I have to and I'm supposed to and I should.


I really, really, really, really do wish that I could care.
I want to help people and I think that's a good thing. I want to help people to make them feel better and to make me feel better about not caring.

That's a very good thing, if you think about it.
Consider this: If I was a CFA volunteer with a huge heart that burst into tears upon hearing a story about a dead cat. That kind of person wouldn't be very helpful when it comes to putting out fires and saving townships.
But a callous being such as myself would be perfect for the job. I'd just do what I was told without a care in the world. More people would get saved by me than the cat-loving blubbermouth. No offense.

Hello, silver lining!


Worse thing is I don't feel bad about it.

Now that's pretty nasty.


You're welcome for sharing, lovelies.

Horrific Haikus

Our sky is crimson
The Apocalypse threatens
Yearning for Winter

GNW
Just three letters, just three words
Good News Week. Epic win.

I am out of words
Out of the rhythm and words
No dedication

Drowned - Tim Minchin

Your love is like finger nails on a chalkboard
Your love is like throwing myself overboard
A breakdown on a motorway
A heart attack on Christmas day
Like scaling a cliff then falling off
Like trying not to cough

And I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I think I’ll just keep swimming down, down, down
There’s no point in trying to turn back now

I’m drowned
I’m drowned

Your love is like sand inside a bathing suit
Your love is a symphony with the sound on mute
A letter sent to the wrong address
Or red wine on a wedding dress
Like broken bones in my playing hand
Like trying to swallow sand

Cos I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I think I’ll just keep swimming down, down, down
There’s no point in trying to reach dry ground

I’m drowned
I’m drowned

Your love is like one last breath of salty air
Your love is like a map that leads to nowhere
A wine glass on a concrete floor
The overuse of metaphor
The straight ahead in a sideways glance
Like the misstep in a dance

Cos I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I didn’t see this one coming, now I’m in too deep
I think I’ll just keep swimming down
There’s no point in turning round

I’m drowned
I’m drowned


If you think the lyrics are powerful... wait 'til you hear the tune that goes with them.

Tennis at 35C

So I'm sitting at this desk
(That's a lie, it's really a small table)
Trying to digest
The sweat that has to manifest
on my brow
legs,
and.... eyelids.

35 degrees is fine,
unless you're in the sunshine

Playing tennis in the heat
should be reserved for an athlete.
It makes me deadbeat.
In the heat.

You still don't feel good after you win
Your opposition makes a din
The flies start to settle in
making your headspin.

It's still 30 in the shade,
you've just played.

The sun is so ANGRY
the ants are hungry
You're drowsy
You blink slowly
Lay down carefully
Try to avoid gazing at the open canopy

The air is dry
The sky is high,
cloudless,
unrelenting.

The morning went fast
you thought it would last

Next thing you know in the car
thank God for the air conditioner

Sweet relief from the blistering heat
Bloody hell I'm beat

Here come the drums

Want

Want

Want

Double want

-Actually this is really the 86th post. Apparently, there are 10 secret posts. Must be the drafts? Hum. FAKE ALMOST CELEBRATION! OMFGUH!

If any of you lot buy me any of these things I will love you forever and ever. But not as much as I'll love my 10th Doctor 5'"0' cut out. That's understandable, yes? Yes.
And I'll be incredibly busy reading John Smith's diary of impossible things under the light of my sonic screwdriver pen.
If I'm not trying to make my cut out real with my pewter sonic screwdriver. Or my other sonic screwdriver. Or my other sonic screwdriver.

That's also if I'm not glued in front of the TV/Computer watching the end of series four.

'Doctor'
'Master'
'I like it when you use my name'
'You chose it. Psychiatrist's field-day'

Doctor Who FTW

This was supposed to be a celebration of Ten, but.... I got sidetracked.
VERY sidetracked.

- 92nd post

91st Post

So I cut what I originally had here and had every intention of pasting it back until I decided to go ahead and copy something else.
Don't you just hate that?

Serena just won the first set 6-0in 22 minutes. Poor Safina.

And she just won the Championship.
Poor Safina. She didn't stand a single chance.

90th post

I think I'll just show off my epic editing skills and post a picture of myself (omfg) (omfg) (omfg)

Echo? :\

echo....

echo.........

Re-cap

Okay... So it's still a stretch template. But we can work around that.

ISN'T IT PRETTY!?

I tell you, Gimp is amazing. Sometimes. Amazing when it doesn't decide it wants to change your pictures to greyscale for no reason >_>

I DO want comments. I WILL get comments. YOU WILL comment!

This post, 'kay? 'Cause... I said.

Come on, I comment you guys all the time =( Please comment me this time. I worked really hard on it.


Watching Federer play.
HE IS A BEAST.
We love you, Fedex!

XDD

Template change

I'm going to change my template now.
Right now it's on stretch. Which, obviously, makes it wider.
So I've had to adpat all my posts to fit the template.

I'm getting a bit tired of this.

Therefore, things are going to change.

I'm creating this post to tell myself that it's okay to have it look crap.

Just think of all the fixing you'll have to do, Teagan!

Just leave it!

Support Chris d'Lacey

www.icefire.co.uk

This Heart Attack

Novak Djokovic is forced to forfeit the chance to reclaim his Australian Open title when he retired in the fourth set of his match against Andy Roddick yesterday.


It's so sad! Roddick is an a-hole and everyone knows he doesn't deserve to win!


But Federer is awesome and he can beat the Roddick serve. We all know it.


Roddick's too cocky. He can't win. He just... can't.

I forgot, then remembered, then forgot again, now I just remembered

This is not in the least bit patriotic

Not at all

The Days Activities:

I finished watching Dark Knight just because Heath Ledger was in it.

That's an Australian thing to do on Australia Day isn't it?
To sit in front of the TV watching an awesome Australian actor do his thang?
I think so.









I sat on the couch and watched a 5 minute interview the best Australian musical comedian ever did on Youtube.

That's Australian,
isn't it?

Heard that three non-Australian tennis players retired due to ailments in the Australian Open

And of course I googled the best of Australia

I'm having a thought here

Doctor..... Who?

Maybe the Doctors initials are F.O.B.

'Cause, like. You know how the memories of a Timelord can be contained inside a watch? Well, it's always a FoB watch.
And that has nothing to do with the fact that he's always in the 1800s or 1900s whenever he finds one.
FoB watches are especially special.

*Nod* that's my theory.

Total Youtube Comment Replies from Tom: 3

=D

It's a conversation in the comments.

EPIC

XDDDD

The Next Doctor

Christmas Eve, 1851, and Cybermen stalk the snow of Victorian London. But when the Doctor meets another Doctor, the two must combine forces to stop the rise of the CyberKing.

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn

Damn thems Cybermen. They just keep coming back at the worst of times.
I guess it could be worse. It could be Matt Smith making his way through the door...

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLFli9i9Jw&feature=related#

^_^
Tomorrow, Sunday, 25th of January, 2008 at 7:30pm on ABC1.

The much anticipated-ness!

=D

What A Charming Notion

Awwwwwwwwwsh. Ain't 'e pretty?

Screenie Mania

I made POTC screenies ^_^
'Cause I can't find any good wallpapers and I just happened to discover that you can use the print screen button while watching movies on your computer. The best way to make wallpaper.

If only the pause button co-operated >.<
I'll post more as I watch more movies ^_^

Buh-bye.

ICanHasLaptop

I officially now have a laptop, it is now officially connected to the Internet and I am officially the most happy little Vegemite ever.

Except for: SCREW THE "SCROLL BAR". It hurts ;_;

My Muse

-IvanovicCornetDellacqua-

-DjokovicFedererHewitt-

These people are prime examples of what I live for. Each of them play superb tennis, have the best morale on court and they are all incredibly talented. And not just within tennis.

Player Profiles: -

Ana Ivanovic
SERBIA

Ana could easily become a model after her tennis career. It would be Kournikova all over again minus the slut and the blonde.
Gosh, I would so turn for Ivanovic.
She has a regularly updated diary/blog. A rare occurance in pro players, I think. That's not to say that she isn't in as many tournaments as the others. She just creates more time for her diary. Perhaps it helps her game?
You're awesome, Ana. Number One.
http://www.anaivanovic.com/

Alize Cornet
FRANCEShe's a freakin' French Wiz! She plays piano, basketball can speak French fluently, I wouldn't doubt that she can speak Englsih fluently and she's learning German. It has got to take smarts to do all that and be an epic pro tennis player.
I really admire her. She always looks so sweet on court. Even when she's pissed off she manages to look like icing on the top of a cake. White and orange icing.
Simply a joy to watch.
http://www.alize-cornet.com/

Casey Dellacqua
AUSTRALIA
CASEY! Bloody Aussies. They're only disappointing because they play for my country. If they were Russian or something then I probably wouldn't care that sometimes they can't get their slice to work. Nonetheless Casey is brilliant. She's changed heaps. I swear she used to be blonde = OH! She uses Twitter! =D It's on her website xD Anyways. Didn't she, like, win the Aussie Open last year? That was a defining moment. Her injury needs to mend and she needs to get out of her rut so she can beat Serena. That would be wonderful.
On ya', Case.
http://www.caseydellacqua.com.au/

Novak Djokovic
SERBIA
Nole<3 We love you,buddy. The reason that this Serbian is so fantastic is because he did that tremendous smile when he thought that lob was going out that one time and it landed far in and-and-and-and....he smiled at it all =D like. It was so cute ^_^ Plus he beat Federer. Methinks that was the pinnacle of his career. Though he would beg to differ.
http://www.novakdjokovic.rs/

Roger Federer
SWITZERLAND

Fedex! The only Swiss in the game! And because of this you'd think I'd remember what country he's from? Wrong. I cannot for the life of me ever remember that he's a Swiss. Note to self *must learn to associate Federer with cheese*. He's so pretty =]] Look at him in his suit looking all shiny. Roger Feder is an absolute delight to watch. Who cares that he absolutely smashes everyone he plays he does it with styyyyyyyle. Unlike Serena. He makes every match compelling so much so that you can't tear yourself away.
His backhand gives me shivers in a good way.
http://www.rogerfederer.com/

Lleyton Hewitt
AUSTRALIA

Awwww. Little Lleyton. Am I the only one that thinks he looks like an elf? 'Cause he reminds me of an elf. He is short for a tennis player, though. 5'10" is kinda short for a man. I mean, some of my friends are 5'10".
Lleyton is the bestest ^_^ he's so fun to watch, gets the crowd going.
He's a persistent little bugger too. He's down, like 6-2 in the first set and he'll bump it up to a win. Shows how proffessional and committed he is to his tennis. He doesn't think a lot of himself but he's got self confidence and that gets him far.
His nickname's Rusty.
COME ON!
http://www.lleytonandbechewitt.com/

There you have it. My Muse. In your face, Stephenie Meyer. Your muse can't hit a ball at over 200km/ph can it? Hey, HEY?! Didn't think so.